The 3-year work dilemma: Should I stay or should I go?

30 year old career crossroad

Lately, it seems like everyone I know is getting promoted or recognized at their workplace. One of my friends just found a new job (after almost three months of quitting her previous work) and she found herself as a Marketing Manager for a beauty and skin care product. And while I'm genuinely happy for her, I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong in my career.

See, I've helped this friend find her last two jobs. Before that, she had been dreaming of working at a government office but failed to pass the tests. When she was able to land those jobs, she started saving money so she could travel around the world. She never dreamed of focusing her time at work and climbing the career ladder whereas I had always been hopeful.

We're both 30 years old. I have been in the same job as a writer for almost three years now. And to be honest, this can be considered as a rank and file position. This is, by far, the longest time I've spent in one company. And while I do love what I'm doing and the people I'm working with, I am extremely unhappy with what's happening to my career.

The past three years have been pretty stagnant. I got married in 2015 and adjusted to the normalcy of married life the past year. I feel like there's still so much more I can achieve, so much more I can do. But I'm always too afraid to take risks.

This current job I'm in, let me just say that the pay is actually good. It's not exceedingly high but it's better compared to what other local businesses offer. And to be honest, being a writer in the Philippines is tough. We're generally paid less compared to writers in first-world countries.

I have been writing professionally since 2009 that sometimes, I feel like I've reached a point where I'm at a loss for words. I no longer know whether or not my writing is good since it has become a necessity. If you ask me, right now, to give you an article I am most proud of, I would probably be contemplating on this for months.

Apart from working full-time, I have a blog that I maintain and often work on contributor articles. I am also trying to learn Digital Marketing but it has been a struggle for me-- seeing everyone else with no background succeed in this endeavor compared to me.

I feel like this is such a crucial time in my life. This part right here, is where I decide whether I should continue being a full-time employee or to quit and rediscover myself.

I know that I love to cook and would love to cook for friends-- if given the opportunity. But I'm always afraid of the possibility that my friends are only enjoying my dishes because they're free and that if I start to sell them, no one would actually buy them.

Another part of me wants to look for another job. The more responsible side of me says otherwise. After all, it's hard to look for another company that can pay as much as what I currently get. And I'd even be lucky if there's a company hiring for a writer in Cebu. And what if it doesn't work out too?

But I am always afraid of the uncertainties of this decision I am even trying to consider.

What if I fail? What if I can't find a job at all? What if there's nothing better than what I'm currently doing?

My husband and I have bills to pay and certainly, we can't afford to be in an uncertain circumstance. But I've always wondered-- what if there's something else that's meant for me?

Maybe it's time I let go and rediscover what it is I'm good at. Because right now, that is a very foggy view and I can't even find the answers.

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